Tears, Memories, and a Broken Past
by sexy-fleur
Summary: A very dramatic, angst-ridden, totally depressive story in which everyone dies except Ginny. Haha j/k... after suffering major hardship, Ginny must find away to cope with her surroundings and bring up her daughter. PG for mega-angst. You might cry!!!
1. Introduction

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Tears, Memories, and a Broken Past

By ~*sexy_fleur*~

…the ultimate R/Hr, O/Hr, & L/S shipper!

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A/N: This story is rather odd, and very difficult to explain…after much hardship, Ginny Weasley has fully detached herself from the wizarding world and has become a Muggle (for reasons you will find out through the story). This starts in place of Hermione's POV; soon, however, it will change to Ginny's story. Please read and review.

Disclaimer: All people, places, and events incorporated with Harry Potter are the property of J.K Rowling and Arthur A. Levine Books.

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Hermione

A voice.

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Hermione

Who is it?

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Hermione

My name....but from who's lips does it flow?

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Hermione?

Distant....a distant voice....like a voice from the past....

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Hermione!

It sounds fearful....it sounds panicked....

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Ron, don't...it's all over....

Don't what? Wait, a different voice....a voice of another man....do I know that man? A memory....a memory of black hair and reckless green eyes....

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Hermione...

The old voice....the one that calls my name so feverishly...

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Hermione

The voice....it fades....do I know the man....

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[sob]

A different voice....the voice of a girl....

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[sob]

I know it...who is the weeping voice? She seems to be a long lost friend....

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Hermione

That man again....?

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Hermione...

Ron! 

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It was all over. She was gone.

As her lifeless spirit slipped away,

it seemed the man would never be happy again.

He stared at her lifeless body....

it had never looked so beautiful, or so terrifying.

Her face had never before seemed so breathtaking, yet at the same time it was full of anguish.

He looked behind him....at the person who's sobs had been filling his wife's mind....

It was Ginny. 

Next to her was Harry. 

Ginny sobbed in his arms.

He held her; his face had no expression.

Ron stared at the body.

It was over.

Over....

*~*~*~*~*~*

10 years later

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"Julia!" Ginny was calling her daughter.

A 30-year-old Ginny Weasley had flowing auburn hair, red hair that had grown darker as the years passed. If any of her old school friends could see her now, they would never know it was her. Her face had once held the expressions of a naive child. Now, though, she was a full-grown woman, and extremely beautiful. If Harry could see her now....

"Julia!"

"Coming, mum!" A girl, no older than 11, bounded down the stairs of the small house. She had the same face her mother had had, when she was her age. Tanned and freckled with striking red hair.

"Come here." There was angst in her mother's voice.

"What is it?" Ginny seemed more upset then usual. Any other child would ask "is something wrong?" But Julia knew better. Her friends said her mother always seemed sad and lonely, but this was how Julia had always seen her.

"I need to talk to you about something very important." Her voice was shaky, and she looked tired and weather-beaten as usual.

"What is it?" Julia always spoke quietly around her mother.

"Julia," Ginny started. She took a deep breath, but all that came out was, "never mind." Julia shrugged and walked out of the room. 

This had happened so many times. Countless occasions in Julia's memory, she remembered her mother wanting to tell her something very important. But every time, all that came out was "never mind."

Watching her daughter walk off, Ginny's heart sank. She was never able to tell the truth. All these years she had been hiding a secret, and she could never come to tell her daughter. She never could. She couldn't tell her - about the magic.

Harry. Ron. Hermione. Hogwarts. Dumbledore. Wizards and witches. Ginny never told her any of that. She never could. She wanted to, but ever since her friends' deaths had occurred, she completely abandoned the magical community. 

Hogwarts....what a fantastic place that had been. Mysteries around every corner, a magical air sweeping through the corridors. Those dreadful Potions lessons, and the exciting Transfiguration classes. Meals in the Great Hall. Late-night parties in the Gryffindor common room. Sneaking out to the greenhouses and kissing Colin under the star-studded skies. All of these memories had suddenly become so painful. It made her think of Ron. And Harry. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been a happy time. Ginny and Colin had lived in a different home in London. They were an average wizarding couple, their house holding many wizard furnishings. Things had been perfect. There was much interaction with Ron and Hermione, and the rest of the Weasleys. Ginny could remember several happy Christmases with all her brothers and their wives and children. Fred Weasley had married Katie Bell, and they had three rowdy yet sweet boys. George Weasley had not married, but had been engaged to Alicia Spinnet the last time Ginny had met with all the family. She remembered receiving their wedding invitation, but it lay unopened in her chest of drawers. Percy, the 3rd to oldest Weasley boy, had married Penelope Clearwater, his fellow Head Girl from Hogwarts. Ginny did not know if they had children. Charlie was married, but she never even met his wife, nor Bill's. This shows just how separated Ginny became from her family. She _had_ been close with them, until three years after she and Colin married. Julia had been just born.

Word had arrived from her parents, Molly and Arthur, that Hermione was dying. It had all happened so suddenly. After, Ron completely broke down. It had been terrible. First he simply looked at her body, unable to comprehend what was going on. Then, he burst into tears and screamed at his wife to come back. Fred had actually dragged him out of the hospital room.

The scene was always vivid in Ginny's mind. It was incredibly painful to remember that night. It brought tears to her very eyes when she relived those moments. Harry had, as well, left, leaving Ginny and George in the hospital. 

Percy wrote her constantly, saying Ron would not come out of his house, nor would he answer any of his brothers' letters. The very thought grieved Ginny even more. A year after Hermione had gone, Ron killed himself. Plain as can be. She remembered George coming over and quietly telling Ginny and Colin that Ron had stabbed himself. 

As if that wasn't enough, Harry left. He fled the country; the death of his two closest friends was more than he could bear. So then Ginny had no one. She felt that Fred and George never really took her seriously. She couldn't confide in Percy, and her oldest brothers were always gone. Colin couldn't - or wouldn't - offer any sympathy.

Struck with grief after Harry disappeared, Ginny took 3-year-old Julia away from her father. They moved to the United States, where they lived in New Jersey for a year. Then, word came that Colin had died in a car crash. This simply intensified her sadness. Ginny took Julia back to London, to an new house.

Three of her closest friends were gone. Colin was gone. Ginny reasoned that if thinking of magic and Hogwarts pained her so much, she simply couldn't _be_ a part of the magic anymore. She snapped her wand in half. She stowed away all her robes and spellbooks and hid them in the attic. The new house they lived in was an ordinary Muggle home. None of the rooms held anything magical at all. There was nothing. Nothing....

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So now Julia was eleven years old. She had never really known a true family. Ginny was so quiet and chronically depressed that Julia couldn't talk to her about anything. She did not know who her father was. She didn't remember any grandparents or distant relatives. The only life she knew was one in a dungeon-like home, with a zombie as a mother and no family. She had lots of friends, but none outside school. 

Often times she asked her mother why she was so unhappy. Why were her friends' parents usually so bright and cheerful? All Ginny would say is that things had happened in her past, things she hated to think about. When Julia asked what had happened, her mother just burst into tears and walked away. Julia learned quickly not to ask this sort of question.

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It was on one particular morning that something very strange happened. No, it wasn't strange....just shocking. Ginny walked through the front door of her small house. In her arms were several envelopes that had just been taken out of the mailbox. She tossed the mailbox key onto the kitchen table and started skimming through the thick papers. _Bills, bills, insurance, free coupon, more bills...._ Then, to her surprise, she came across a different envelope. It was dark yellow in color, and Ginny's first thought was _Hogwarts_. But there was no Hogwarts crest on it. No familiar coat of arms bearing a snake, lion, badger, and eagle. It said

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Mrs. Ginny 

4729 Briton Street

London, England

While any other person would think this was a normal occurrence, it was most certainly not to Ginny. Her parents and brothers had long given up on trying to write her....she could think of no one _willing_ to send her a letter. Then, she noticed the upper left-hand corner, the corner usually reserved for return addresses:

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Mr. H Potter

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A/N: Did anyone enjoy the story? If so, I have the whole fic planned out, and I have lots of ideas and plot twists. And, yes, plenty of Dark Arts action occurs J Please do not flame for ridiculous reasons, such as the people being out of character. This story is my own work, so do not say things like "Colin wouldn't marry Ginny." Perhaps this is my perception of what would happen in my_ story, you know? _

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Luv, 

~*sexy_fleur*~

…writer of this angst-ridden, torture-filled drama!

…in which I use a lot of italics to make it appear all vintage and dramatic and cool! :)


	2. The Letters

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A/N: …the continuation. I know several of you have been begging for me to continue, so here it is. I have put a lot of heart into this, and the letter from Harry took an exceptionally long amount of time. So, read on.

Disclaimer: If you want a disclaimer, read the one at the beginning of chapter 1.

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Mr. H Potter

Ginny stared at the name. She had forgotten....forgotten about his disappearance. Where was he now? She questioned opening the envelope. She knew reading the bit of parchment inside would bring tears to her eyes. Nonetheless, she opened it, fingers trembling terribly.

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Dear Ginny,

Before I begin, I thought I would let you know that it pains me deeply to write this. I am not sure if you have forgiven me for what I have done, but I hope you will take this letter as a mark of utmost apology.

No words can describe what pain and suffering I have endured for these past years. I have reason to believe that you can say the same.

There is no reason to explain the memories that I have recalled in mind during this time. I can think of nothing but why I left you when you needed me most. Percy has been writing non-stop, saying you, of all people, have been taking this the hardest. It was terribly selfish of me to think it was I who experienced the most pain.

Yes, it was my two best friends who passed. But I should have realized it was your brother. By all means, the death of a trusted family member is even more tolling than the death of a friend. This is even more intensely expressed by the fact that I have put the past behind me. You have not.

But Ginny, I want to help you recognize that you are at fault here, as well. You have done things I would never have believed possible, and I want you to see them now.

Percy has said you won't stop grieving, even to the point of ridding your mind of all the memories. I hoped the business about you becoming a Muggle was not true. I didn't think you would do such a thing. Why did you do it, Ginny? Why would you just throw it all away? Not even Ron's death saddens me more than the fact that you have chosen to ignore your magical roots.

Snapping your wand in half isn't going to bring Ron back. Pretending to forget Hogwarts won't erase that night, in which we all witnessed Hermione die. Do you actually think that becoming a Muggle will reduce the pain you are suffering? Nothing in that sounds logical. And it hurts me even more that you have abandoned your family, and all contact with old school friends, including myself.

I have listened to Fred and George and your brothers ramble on about how you will not respond to their letters. You will not call them. You don't make the slightest effort to help them.

I bet you think this is all about you. As if you are the only one struck by the sudden deaths of those two people I like to call my friends. Ginny, the rest of us are sad, too. We grieve as well! But are we becoming Muggles? Are we locking ourselves up in our homes, unable to communicate with the outside world? No. But are we looking to each other for support? Are finding ways to live on, even though a part of us seems to be lost? Of course.

All I am trying to say is that there are other ways to deal with emotional pain, Ginny. You don't have to live in a dungeon. Nothing would make me happier than to see you walk down the streets of Diagon Alley and buy a new wand. We would all be happier if you just learn to live again.

I remember you the way you were when I last saw you. Young, beautiful, slightly naive (but that could have been all for the best). I have been told you have lost that radiant smile. The brightness and cheer in your face has withered away. That's not how I want to see you, Ginny. I am coming back to London, and if I see you, I want to withhold that familiar twinkle in your eyes. I will be in Diagon Alley on June 9. If you choose to accept my advice, perhaps you will once again walk out into the sunlight, and recapture the magic of your past.

Harry

Tears were streaming down Ginny's face. Harry was right. She _had_ made a mistake. She couldn't believe it took a letter from a friend to realize she was doing wrong. She reread one of the paragraphs: _"Snapping your wand in half won't bring Ron back..." _Harry was right. She had been incredibly foolish. Becoming a Muggle hadn't helped her at all. She thought of those days at Hogwarts, the days when she was so naive and foolish, the times when she always felt that Harry Potter was so much more knowledgeable than her. Now it was coming back. Those feelings of helplessness returned like a tidal wave of salty memories. Salty with tears, and with unfathomable pain.

When her shock from the letter was over, Ginny asked herself: _"Should I really go to Diagon Alley?" _She started listing the pros and cons, finding no pros, but a number of disadvantages. She would be so overtaken with sadness. But, perhaps a walk down that familiar cobblestone street would help. Maybe it would convince her to go back to the magic. Thinking very hard, she rested her head on the table, until sleep overtook her....

*~*~*~*~*~*

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Hermione.

The light, it dims....

Herm....

The voice. How it fails to speak coherently....Ron? Are you there?

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Don't go.

Ron. He is pained. He is grieving. But why.…?

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You can't go.

Go where? Where am I going?

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Hermione, please!

Please? What is he talking about? Am I upsetting him?

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No!

What do you mean? Ron, answer me!

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No....

Stop it! Stop crying! What do you want from me??

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HERMIONEEE

Blackness....utter darkness....

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No.

The light....it fades....where am I going? I seem to be lifted up, up to the skies....

No.

What is happening? Where am I going? Ron! Don't go!!

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[screaming] You cannot leave me here alone!!

I'm not! I am not leaving you!! Look, I'm right here! I would never leave you. Fred, where are you taking him? Stop, stop!! Don't....

*~*~*~*~*~*

Ginny awoke, startled. The dream had been completely black, no visible shapes....nothing at all....nothing but the desperate voices of two long lost friends....

Ginny had had the dream many, many times before. When they occurred, it seemed the voice wasn't her own....like she was in somebody else's mind. They seemed to make perfect sense when she was asleep, but when Ginny woke up, she could hardly remember what it had been about.

It had happened a hundred times before, but before she could work out what had been said in _this _dream, she remembered about the letter.

Ginny thought of how she could get to Diagon Alley....floo powder? But where would....there could be some upstairs....the Underground.....no, doesn't seem right....although Harry did once say he took it there…an automobile, perhaps....maybe I could get Penelope to lend me her enchanted Oldsmobile....

But the Leaky Cauldron; surely you needed a wand? To tap that particular brick, leading into the Alley? Maybe the pieces would work....

"Mom?" Julia's voice took her out of her trance. "Mom, come here." Extremely tired, Ginny trudged into the other room, where her daughter sat on the sofa. She looked up at her mother. "You dropped this on the way from the mailbox...." Ginny stared at the envelope her daughter had in her hands. Julia was eyeing it suspiciously. 

Ginny's face fell. Her breath caught in her chest. Her palms shook. There was no mistaking that heavy yellow envelope. The familiar green writing. No....the last thing Ginny wanted at that very moment was to lay her eyes on that paper...

It couldn't be. It just couldn't. Not…_Hogwarts_?

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A/N: Don't you just hate us cliffie writers? Haha…you should be glad, actually, that I did this after a measly six_ reviews (read: six). But, nonetheless, I did it. Be grateful :) _

love,

fleur


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